Secretly enjoying every mention of Kate and Wills? Fret not, because you’re not the only one with marriage on the mind. The Wed or Dead Wager is a hilarious account of two lovelorn (and anonymous) London blokes racing to find the ladies of their dreams. We met up to talk sixth form chemistry teachers, dream dates and birds being sick in Battersea Park.

First of all, why did you pick Toast and Biscuit as your anonymous blog names?

Toast: When we were setting up the blog we needed secret spy names, and I was eating some toast.
Biscuit: And I was eating a biscuit.

Why did you start The Wed or Dead Wager?

B: Toast will explain this properly. For me, it’s had the benefit of really focussing the mind. There’s no point wasting time on something that shows little long term promise, even if it’s ‘nice’.
T: We were the last two bachelors in a group of friends. Even the naughtiest person we knew was now married with kids. It was time. We decided to make it a bet because that would make it more fun. Finding someone who wants to spend the rest of their life with you is a huge challenge. Climbing Mount Everest would be easier, although maybe K2 might be tougher because it’s a trickier technical climb.

Do you really want to get married or is it just an excuse for going on lots of dates?

B: When I was with my last girlfriend, long before I started this, I almost proposed within 2 months and was blissfully happy. Show me the right girl and I’ll put a ring on it. Plus, I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to work the ‘silver fox’ angle so I’d better not leave it too late. I am 33 after all.
T: I’m already five years older than my dad was in his wedding photos. That’s a bit alarming.

In the year since you started the blog, who’s been your closest call?

B: Would you believe that, in a year, I’ve not even managed to have one girlfriend? There was a girl who I called ‘Stripy Dress’ on the blog who I was really keen on but who blew hot and cold. However, I’m now dating ‘Jen’, who pretty much seems to be a female Biscuit, right down to the spazzyness. It’s looking very promising.
T: ‘Jen’ is way cooler than Biscuit, even if she is rubbish at computer games. Erm, no real close calls for me. I’ve had two proper girlfriends in the challenge and a couple of ‘things’ that didn’t quite evolve. I am learning some important stuff though, so hopefully I’ll find someone amazing soon.

Best bad date story?

B: Actually, I’ve been REALLY lucky and haven’t had a bad date.
T: Lots of awkward ones, you know when you find out that even though you’ve had a nice email chat you’ve sort of covered everything already and the date has lots of long pauses in it. I had a date with a massive racist too – that was an experience.

Have you ever liked the same girl and what would happen if you did?

B: The rules are clear on that. She’s fair game. The only people off limits are the girls listed in the ‘significant relationships’ section. Early on we both rather liked the same girl on a dating site so we both messaged to see who she would reply to. I spent ages drawing a picture of a bird being sick in Battersea Park (it’s in context, I promise). She replied to Toast.
T: We didn’t end up going on a date though. Girls have their own free will which complicates things a bit. When we were in New York, I’d arranged to meet up with a girl at a pub quiz and she fell deeply in love with our chum (MyLoveLifeInYourHands) They are so happy together, it’s hard to be angry. If they get married I’m going to mention how they met in the wedding speech.

How does dating in London differ from the rest of the UK?

B: The difference is that you can go on a date with someone you’ve never met before and the chances are they won’t turn out to be your cousin, the sister of your mortal enemy or the daughter of your sixth form chemistry teacher. That, and you can offer to meet somewhere other than ‘the pub’. Toast started to get really dirty looks from the staff in his regular first date venue after about the 4th consecutive date.
T: Which I think was unfair – it was pretty much the only nice place in town and I was meeting people for coffee, not renting out the honeymoon suite. London is amazing. There are just so many people in London it’s almost impossible to not go on dates. And if a date goes badly there will always be another person. Also because London is so cosmopolitan you can meet people from all over the world which is really exciting.

Can you recommend five top-notch London date spots?

B: I’m not sure I can be trusted with date venues but here are some great ones I’ve stumbled upon: Bar Kick in Shoreditch. It has food, booze and table football. What’s not to like? Just don’t confuse it with sister venue Cafe Kick near Angel. That was not a good opener to a date.

Gordon’s Wine Bar near the Embankment is a cosy, rustic wine bar that makes you feel like you’re drinking in an underground wine cellar, but which also has a great terrace on what was once the bank of the Thames and a great deli. Ice skating at Somerset House is obviously seasonal but is a great way to spend a silly hour with someone and it’s uber pretty too so you can pretend it’s romantic in the bits between falling on your arse.

London Aquarium is definitely (at least) a second date venue but you get to poke fish. Best. Time. Ever!

T: I suppose it depends on the sort of date. I’m going to assume you mean dates where you know the person a bit, rather than random people off the internet.

Walking tours let you discover a hidden side of London, have a failed actor tell you about murders and then end up in a pub you didn’t know. They do a range of tours so you can find one that fits the person you are meeting. Planet of the Grapes is the best wine merchant in London. They’re so friendly and their tasting evenings are informative, fun and include an amazing selection of wines and food. It’s a great dating experience.

Vingt Quatre’s open 24 hours a day. If a date is going really well and you don’t want to end, why not go for Eggs Benedict at 4am? Then, the cocktail bar at Claridges. OK, so the drinks might be a little pricey, but it’s worth it to be in a hushed world of chic decadence. The cocktails are in a different league to most places in the West End, so make sure you are wearing nice shoes. Finally, the Electric Cinema. Awesome oysters, a brilliant Bloody Mary and cinema seats for two. Just make sure you book in advance.

Do you have a blog we’d love, or want to share your favourite places here? Just contact the Qype team – sarahdrinkwater, janeB, eamon and alexsheppard!